The View’s Whoopi Goldberg Thinks “Women Who Slap Men Should be Slapped Back!”

“Hey, I know everybody’s freaking out as I said that they would when I said if someone hits you, you have the right to hit them back,” she addressed her audience. “I didn’t say Jay-Z should have hit Solange. I said if you hit a man, that man has the right to hit you back. That’s what I said. I stand by that. If you hit anybody, they have the right to hit you back. And this idea that men are not supposed to hit women… If you slap a man, he has the right to slap you back.”

She concluded her statement with a calm shrug.

“Now, not everybody’s going to agree, and I’m okay with that, but that’s how I feel. That’s why I don’t slap anybody.”

Tim chuckled behind the bar, clearly entertained.

“Wow. Hey, question: when did The View get real? Whoopi keeping it too real.”

However, Tim wasn’t entirely on board with how she tried to distance her logic from the famous elevator scene.

“Look, look,” Tim continued, leaning over the polished wooden counter. “The only part I didn’t like is when Whoopi says she’s not talking about Solange and Jay-Z, claiming she’s not saying Jay-Z should have hit or kicked Solange. When in fact, she said if a woman hits a man, a man should be able to hit her back. Earth to Whoopi: Solange is a woman. She hit Jay-Z. You’re basically saying he could hit her back. That’s what you’re saying. So don’t hedge. You did good. Don’t hedge.”

Tim shook his head slightly, acknowledging the core logic behind her perspective.

“Okay, look. Now look, Whoopi, I would agree with you, but here’s the problem. I understand your rationale. It’s very logical. It’s very sensible. I get it. But here’s the thing, and I’m sorry, but I got to put it to you like this.”

He took a step closer, emphasizing the cultural dynamic across the nation.

“In America, we have this culture with the modern westernized woman. And she believes she can treat you poorly, thinking there’s nothing you can do about it. Oh man, she can throw a temper tantrum. She can attack you, throw dishes right at your face. This modern woman makes videos, music, hit songs talking about smashing car windows, flattening tires, and ruining a man’s life. Not only do those tracks reach number one, but people applaud it. They cheer it, dancing in the streets singing to the story of a man’s downfall.”

He sighed, highlighting the gap between basic logic and modern social norms.

“So though Whoopi makes a lot of perfectly good sense, it doesn’t apply in the world in which we live in in the United States of America because things are deeply skewed. That’s right. They’re out of touch with reality. Some people mistreat their partners and hide behind the idea that they can’t be held accountable because of social norms. Society claims mistreatment can only come from a man, and the victim always has to be a woman. That’s just the way the standard was written.”

Tim illustrated his point with a typical everyday scenario.

“A police officer shows up on the scene where two people are arguing. The first thing they do is pull the woman to the side and ask, ‘What did he do, girl? What did he do to you, man?’ They totally neglect the guy. They don’t care about the guy, because that’s how society is wired.”

He shook his head, offering credit where it was due.

“But you know what, Whoopi? I appreciate you trying to stand up and say the right thing, which is: keep your hands to yourself. Don’t kick people. Don’t hit people.”

Tim then recalled another detail from the elevator footage.

“And she also spat at Jay-Z. But you know what? If you spit on me, you better run. My goodness. I don’t care who you are. That’s right, I don’t care—male, female, mixed, transgender, I don’t care. You spit on me, you better be moving fast. You can’t be in a confined space like an elevator and spit on me unless it’s a complete accident.”

He leaned in closer to the audience to make his stance crystal clear.

“And if you accidentally spit on me in the elevator, you better be quick to apologize. I mean, before as soon as the liquid hits me, as soon as the saliva hits me, I want to hear you say:”

“I’m sorry, Tim! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry I spat on you! Did I get a little on you?”

Tim broke into a smile, gesturing to the floor.

“That’s how I feel about it. You guys let me know how you feel about it. Please, ladies and gentlemen, let me know how you feel about it. Yes, you should keep your hands to yourself. And yes, if you hit somebody, you should expect to be hit back in return. How else will people stop hitting others? But we have double standards in America, and they’re in full force.”

Wiping down the bar counter one last time, Tim prepared to wrap up his broadcast.

“I’m Tim the bartender, and I’m out. Right. Think about spitting on me, you better wake up and apologize. And don’t you put your feet on me. I don’t care if you’ve got on expensive designer heels—I’ll show you real discipline when I kick you out with my heavy-duty Timberland boots.”