She married the man she helped me leave

She married the man she helped me leave. 

 Aisha, what are you doing here? I came to reclaim what belonged to me: the truth.  You came to ruin my wedding, Aisha! by immediately.  How dare you convince me to leave him so you could take him back for yourself? That’s wrong. She is jealous.  She was always jealous of me. Dad, take her out. She has nothing to do  

He runs away.  The groom ran away. It’s not possible. To understand how we got to this point , to this marriage that would collapse under the weight of its own lies, we have to go back three years.  Back when Aïcha and Binetta called themselves best friends, back when no one could have imagined the betrayal that was being prepared in the shadows.

Your hands are dirty but your heart is clean.  I arrive with my fears, but no, I’m too full.  You do n’t even look at me like you look at a promise.  You look at me like you look at an object.  You’ll end up marrying this engine eventually. He’s easier to understand than you, anyway.

 Dear, you’re going to get me dirty, you’ll still love me dirty or clean, your jokes were but they just fell right.  I understood from the without you forcing it that some people are in places with dirty hands but your heart is clean.  I arrive with my fears.

  No, my Binetta wants us to have dinner at her place tonight .  She says she has a surprise. Okay, if it makes you happy. You don’t like him very much, do you? I don’t know. She has a look as if she is observing all the time.   She’s been my best friend since middle school. Stop being paranoid. And maybe that’s why it still holds up because it was true before it was beautiful.

  If one day everything changes, just keep this. It wasn’t the light that made me stay, it was the way you were present. Are you here?  I prepared some expensive Tibouien.  I hope you like it. Thank you Binetta, that’s kind of you. You have dirty hands but your heart is clean.  I arrive with my fears, but no, tell me I’m too full.

  You don’t even look at me like you look at a promise.  You look at me like you look at an object. You’re lucky.  You know, Aïchale, you act as if you were perfect. She always exaggerates. I’m not exaggerating.  He is the best man I know.  We’ll see if it lasts.    Thank you for tonight Binetta, that was really kind.

You are welcome. Good evening Binetta and thank you again. She doesn’t deserve it. This man should have been mine. Aïcha, can I tell you something ? Promise me you won’t upset you. What ?  What ?  What’s going on? I saw it was expensive the other day.  at the market.  He was talking to a girl, he was laughing a lot.

  I don’t know, it seemed strange to me. Which girl is that?  He didn’t tell me anything. I don’t want to create any problems between you.  It might be nothing.  But you know, men change.  Especially when a relationship has lasted a long time . He would never do that to me.  I’m sure you’re right.  I’m telling you this because I love you, Aïcha.

  I just want to protect you. Sit down. Tomorrow, you’ll meet Cher in town. You’re going to talk to him and you’re going to make sure a girl walks by at that moment.  I want Aisha to see the scene. Binetta, I’m not comfortable with that. You have no choice.  Do you remember what I know about you?  that thing you absolutely don’t want your family to find out about .

  Take this and disappear tomorrow as soon as it’s done. It’s over. Your hands are dirty but your heart is clean.  I arrive with my fears, but no, I’m too full.  You do n’t even look at me like you look at a promise, you look at me like you look at something you really want.  Look, it’s him.  No, with that girl, or rather that boy too.

  But look how he’s laughing with her there.   I don’t know what to think.   I’m sorry you have to see this, but I’d rather you know the truth than hurt yourself in silence.  something we really want. I don’t need you to save me, I just need you to stay, to be there when the noise in my head starts again.

  You have this way of saying nothing that says everything.  Even walking alongside, I feel less burdened by people and my own stories, the clear images.  We started out in the dust. And perhaps that’s what’s wrong ? Who is that girl you were laughing with the other day?  In town? In town? What a girl from !  Which girl? What are you talking about?   Don’t lie,  dear Binetta told me everything.  She saw you.

Aïcha, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. I was with Modou, my cousin.  There was no one else . Why was Binetta shooting me over something like that ? I love you, Aïcha.  I haven’t looked at another woman since I’ve been with you.  I don’t know what Binetta saw or thought she saw, but I swear on my mother’s life that nothing happened.

I can no longer trust you, dear.  I’m sorry. It’s still you in my head.  I may have made a mistake. He seemed so sincere. Men always know how to appear sincere.  Ouch, that’s what makes them dangerous. You made the right choice, I’m proud of you. I changed my route to avoid going back but my brain kept the way.

  You didn’t betray me suddenly, you just let me go gently.  Like closing a door without making a sound.  I, on the other hand, remained gentle with the current. It’s still you in my head at 3am. Again you on my screen that I open for no reason.  I said I was going to  well.

  I lied as usual.  You left me with a bitter taste, I’m still tearing it apart. Friends say they’re moving on to something else , easy to say when it’s not them.  I have memories that cling on even when I try to act like I don’t want to anymore. Salam alkoum cheram. I figured you probably weren’t eating well, so I brought you something.

That’s kind of you, Binetta.  THANKS. Aïcha is fine, you know, she needs time but she will recover.   Did she understand that what  you told her she saw wasn’t true? Dear, I don’t know exactly what I saw .  Maybe I was wrong, but you know, sometimes even a misunderstanding reveals things.  She realized she needed more stability in her life.

  It’s not really about that girl. So, is it over?  Is it really over? I’m here if you ever need to talk . It’s too late to turn back. We’ve already crossed the line.  Your name is stuck in my head.  Even when I try to forget, I no longer know if it was you or the void that made me kiss the guard.

  And now that you’re here, I don’t want to be a machine anymore, it started without making a sound, just looks that stayed too long.  You were hurt, I was there.  And the silence, you know, Binetta, these last few months, you’ve been there for me in a way I didn’t expect . I couldn’t leave you alone after all that, and then I think I started to feel something that maybe I shouldn’t be feeling.

I think I feel the same way.   I don’t care about people.  They haven’t lived through what we’ve lived through. Even if the beginning is unclear, what I feel there is real. Woman, I’m not asking you where we come from.  Man, I’m just asking you to stay. Both of them can wait for the past .

  We’ll see tomorrow, it’s too late to back down. We already have Aïa.  It’s Binetta with flesh teeth.  Aïcha, what a coincidence!  I was just about to talk to you about it soon . What exactly can you tell me about, dear? We’ve been seeing each other for a while now.  I know it’s strange, but you didn’t love him anymore, did you? You left.

You told me he was cheating on me, that’s why I left him. I told you what I thought I saw, Aisha. It may not have been what I thought, but you made your decision yourself. Are you sure you’re okay? Yes, I’m thinking about it, that’s all. You know, since I’ve been with you, I feel like I’ve finally found my place.

   I’ve never felt better.  You know you mean a lot to me. Thank you, that means a lot to me. Sometimes I’m afraid it will end , that you’ll realize I ‘m not enough. Why do you say that ? Because people are talking, they say that you are still attached to Aisha. that you will come back to her, to her one day. Binetta, please.

   I can put up with a lot of expensive things, but not the idea of being the temporary option. Binetta, you are not an option. You are the one I chose. I’m with you.  If you’re really sure of how you feel, then prove it.  Not with words, but with a gesture. You’re right.  I’m going to come and see your parents.

  I want us to get engaged and get married.   Okay , you won. It’s too late to turn back. We’ve already crossed the line.  Your name keeps going through my head even when I try to forget. I don’t know anymore if it was you or the emptiness that made me let my guard down. Now that you’re here, I don’t want to act like Aïcha anymore, it’s me.

Modou, what are you doing here? I need to talk to you, it’s important. That day at the market, it wasn’t a coincidence.  Binetta forced me to do this. Force your finger?  What are you talking about ? Exactly like that. She threatened me.  She knew something about me and she told me I had no choice. She wanted you to believe that Cher was cheating on you.  She organized everything.

This is something you definitely don’t want your family to find out about.  So, you’re going to do exactly what I tell you. Forgive me. She invented everything. Yes. And I agreed to do it.  I’m sorry. I’m walking with this. The weight of what you did, it’s dragging behind me.  Even when I move forward, my heart is heavy.

But I don’t open my mouth. Everyone thinks I’m fine. I wear that too. The streets are the same, but nothing is the same anymore.  Not thinking too loudly in my head.  I was still looking for you in the silences when you had already chosen your side. My daughter, I know it hurts you to receive this invitation, but sometimes you have to face the pain head-on to truly overcome it.

How can I attend this wedding?  Mom ?  It’s like watching my own life being stolen.  So don’t go for them, go for yourself.  To prove to yourself first that you are stronger than this betrayal. Everyone thinks I’m fine. I carry this in silence. The nights are long, the thoughts too clear.

  I  see again the signs that I wanted to ignore. I pretended to be strong but the fatigue eventually showed. I wish you nothing.  I hate you even more.  It’s just a matter of taste. Aïcha, I’m glad you came . You lied to me for 3 years, Binetta.  You invented a girl who didn’t exist. You manipulated your own cousin Maudou to create false evidence.

  And all that time, you were waiting your turn. Aisha, please don’t do that here.  Please don’t cause a scandal.  Listen to me, all of you. Here is the proof of this girl’s betrayal.   Do you remember what I know about you ?  This is something you definitely don’t want your family to find out about.

  So, you’re going to do exactly what I tell you. Is that true?  No.   My dear, I truly love you.  What I did at the beginning was wrong, I know, but what we have built together since then has been built on 3 years of lies.   I can’t, I can’t stay here. I played, I lost.  Now I am alone with my choices.

  What have I done? The doors close one to and no one answers anymore.  I wanted to take everything, I broke everything. Now, I have the ass of my steps in a silence that I created.  Before I control the game but look for the flaws.  I advanced without trembling while the others digested my blows.

  Today, the same streets avoid me, the same legs lower their eyes.  I pushed it too far , it finally broke. I played, I lost.  Now I am alone with my choices.   It’s all over before it’s even begun. And no one answers anymore.  I wanted to take everything, I broke everything,  Aïcha, please wait for me.

Aïcha, please wait.  I know I’ve messed everything up. I know I haven’t lied to anyone.  Just talk to me for a minute.  You had three years to speak to me honestly.  You chose to lie. Now, take responsibility. come back even if you say hello even if you smile like before the time of memory it forgets nothing it waits you can run you can change your voice but what you have done still follows .

  You reap what you sow, or later it comes back strong. We play up the effort, we hide the blows, we move forward as if nothing happened.  But the debts they remain. Even when we change Binetta, please come to my office. Binetta, the atmosphere has become unbearable.  People don’t want to work with you anymore.

  I have no other choice. I’m sorry, Binetta.  We have to let you go.   Hello please , is anyone there? What are you doing here?   Please listen to me. You have dragged this family’s name through the mud. You made your bed, Binetta.  Now, lie down in it.  It’s over.   That’s all I have left. 3 months without rent.  It’s over. It’s over.

  Bineta, you must leave. It comes back even if you pretend, even if you smile like before.  The time of memory, it forgets nothing, it waits. You can run, you can change your voice. But what you did again. You reap what you sow. Everything is closed.  I don’t know where to go anymore.  There’s nobody left.

So this is what remains of me, wounded to the fact that I have nowhere left to go.   That’s when you really understand the price.   What have I done?  winning too fast, fear without making a sound, the sky always gives change until the moment we choose. You can believe you dodged a bullet, that you were smarter than fate, but time takes its time and one day it knocks on your door.

Woman, we leave traces without seeing it. Man , we think we are free, but we are not really. Both of us, everything ends up being known, even what we bury for a long time. Dear Aïcha, it’s been a long time. I wanted to tell you, I’m sorry. I should have trusted you back then .

  I should have believed you rather than someone who claimed to love me. You had no reason to doubt her.  She had always been your best friend . It’s not your fault, Aisha. It’s hers.   Perhaps we could start slowly without rushing. Slowly, that suits me just fine. It comes back even if you pretend, even if you smile like before, in the time of memory, it forgets nothing, it waits.

You can run, you can change your voice, but what you’ve done still follows.  You reap what you sow, sooner or later it comes back strong. We play up the effort, we hide the blows, we move forward as if nothing happened.  But the debts, they remain . Even when your destiny changes, as perspectives evolve, so do people; those you have hurt learn to leave.

She married the man she helped me leave. 

 Aisha, what are you doing here? I came to reclaim what belonged to me: the truth.  You came to ruin my wedding, Aisha! by immediately.  How dare you convince me to leave him so you could take him back for yourself? That’s wrong. She is jealous.  She was always jealous of me. Dad, take her out. She has nothing to do  

He runs away.  The groom ran away. It’s not possible. To understand how we got to this point , to this marriage that would collapse under the weight of its own lies, we have to go back three years.  Back when Aïcha and Binetta called themselves best friends, back when no one could have imagined the betrayal that was being prepared in the shadows.

Your hands are dirty but your heart is clean.  I arrive with my fears, but no, I’m too full.  You do n’t even look at me like you look at a promise.  You look at me like you look at an object.  You’ll end up marrying this engine eventually. He’s easier to understand than you, anyway.

 Dear, you’re going to get me dirty, you’ll still love me dirty or clean, your jokes were but they just fell right.  I understood from the without you forcing it that some people are in places with dirty hands but your heart is clean.  I arrive with my fears.

  No, my Binetta wants us to have dinner at her place tonight .  She says she has a surprise. Okay, if it makes you happy. You don’t like him very much, do you? I don’t know. She has a look as if she is observing all the time.   She’s been my best friend since middle school. Stop being paranoid. And maybe that’s why it still holds up because it was true before it was beautiful.

  If one day everything changes, just keep this. It wasn’t the light that made me stay, it was the way you were present. Are you here?  I prepared some expensive Tibouien.  I hope you like it. Thank you Binetta, that’s kind of you. You have dirty hands but your heart is clean.  I arrive with my fears, but no, tell me I’m too full.

  You don’t even look at me like you look at a promise.  You look at me like you look at an object. You’re lucky.  You know, Aïchale, you act as if you were perfect. She always exaggerates. I’m not exaggerating.  He is the best man I know.  We’ll see if it lasts.    Thank you for tonight Binetta, that was really kind.

You are welcome. Good evening Binetta and thank you again. She doesn’t deserve it. This man should have been mine. Aïcha, can I tell you something ? Promise me you won’t upset you. What ?  What ?  What’s going on? I saw it was expensive the other day.  at the market.  He was talking to a girl, he was laughing a lot.

  I don’t know, it seemed strange to me. Which girl is that?  He didn’t tell me anything. I don’t want to create any problems between you.  It might be nothing.  But you know, men change.  Especially when a relationship has lasted a long time . He would never do that to me.  I’m sure you’re right.  I’m telling you this because I love you, Aïcha.

  I just want to protect you. Sit down. Tomorrow, you’ll meet Cher in town. You’re going to talk to him and you’re going to make sure a girl walks by at that moment.  I want Aisha to see the scene. Binetta, I’m not comfortable with that. You have no choice.  Do you remember what I know about you?  that thing you absolutely don’t want your family to find out about .

  Take this and disappear tomorrow as soon as it’s done. It’s over. Your hands are dirty but your heart is clean.  I arrive with my fears, but no, I’m too full.  You do n’t even look at me like you look at a promise, you look at me like you look at something you really want.  Look, it’s him.  No, with that girl, or rather that boy too.

  But look how he’s laughing with her there.   I don’t know what to think.   I’m sorry you have to see this, but I’d rather you know the truth than hurt yourself in silence.  something we really want. I don’t need you to save me, I just need you to stay, to be there when the noise in my head starts again.

  You have this way of saying nothing that says everything.  Even walking alongside, I feel less burdened by people and my own stories, the clear images.  We started out in the dust. And perhaps that’s what’s wrong ? Who is that girl you were laughing with the other day?  In town? In town? What a girl from !  Which girl? What are you talking about?   Don’t lie,  dear Binetta told me everything.  She saw you.

Aïcha, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. I was with Modou, my cousin.  There was no one else . Why was Binetta shooting me over something like that ? I love you, Aïcha.  I haven’t looked at another woman since I’ve been with you.  I don’t know what Binetta saw or thought she saw, but I swear on my mother’s life that nothing happened.

I can no longer trust you, dear.  I’m sorry. It’s still you in my head.  I may have made a mistake. He seemed so sincere. Men always know how to appear sincere.  Ouch, that’s what makes them dangerous. You made the right choice, I’m proud of you. I changed my route to avoid going back but my brain kept the way.

  You didn’t betray me suddenly, you just let me go gently.  Like closing a door without making a sound.  I, on the other hand, remained gentle with the current. It’s still you in my head at 3am. Again you on my screen that I open for no reason.  I said I was going to  well.

  I lied as usual.  You left me with a bitter taste, I’m still tearing it apart. Friends say they’re moving on to something else , easy to say when it’s not them.  I have memories that cling on even when I try to act like I don’t want to anymore. Salam alkoum cheram. I figured you probably weren’t eating well, so I brought you something.

That’s kind of you, Binetta.  THANKS. Aïcha is fine, you know, she needs time but she will recover.   Did she understand that what  you told her she saw wasn’t true? Dear, I don’t know exactly what I saw .  Maybe I was wrong, but you know, sometimes even a misunderstanding reveals things.  She realized she needed more stability in her life.

  It’s not really about that girl. So, is it over?  Is it really over? I’m here if you ever need to talk . It’s too late to turn back. We’ve already crossed the line.  Your name is stuck in my head.  Even when I try to forget, I no longer know if it was you or the void that made me kiss the guard.

  And now that you’re here, I don’t want to be a machine anymore, it started without making a sound, just looks that stayed too long.  You were hurt, I was there.  And the silence, you know, Binetta, these last few months, you’ve been there for me in a way I didn’t expect . I couldn’t leave you alone after all that, and then I think I started to feel something that maybe I shouldn’t be feeling.

I think I feel the same way.   I don’t care about people.  They haven’t lived through what we’ve lived through. Even if the beginning is unclear, what I feel there is real. Woman, I’m not asking you where we come from.  Man, I’m just asking you to stay. Both of them can wait for the past .

  We’ll see tomorrow, it’s too late to back down. We already have Aïa.  It’s Binetta with flesh teeth.  Aïcha, what a coincidence!  I was just about to talk to you about it soon . What exactly can you tell me about, dear? We’ve been seeing each other for a while now.  I know it’s strange, but you didn’t love him anymore, did you? You left.

You told me he was cheating on me, that’s why I left him. I told you what I thought I saw, Aisha. It may not have been what I thought, but you made your decision yourself. Are you sure you’re okay? Yes, I’m thinking about it, that’s all. You know, since I’ve been with you, I feel like I’ve finally found my place.

   I’ve never felt better.  You know you mean a lot to me. Thank you, that means a lot to me. Sometimes I’m afraid it will end , that you’ll realize I ‘m not enough. Why do you say that ? Because people are talking, they say that you are still attached to Aisha. that you will come back to her, to her one day. Binetta, please.

   I can put up with a lot of expensive things, but not the idea of being the temporary option. Binetta, you are not an option. You are the one I chose. I’m with you.  If you’re really sure of how you feel, then prove it.  Not with words, but with a gesture. You’re right.  I’m going to come and see your parents.

  I want us to get engaged and get married.   Okay , you won. It’s too late to turn back. We’ve already crossed the line.  Your name keeps going through my head even when I try to forget. I don’t know anymore if it was you or the emptiness that made me let my guard down. Now that you’re here, I don’t want to act like Aïcha anymore, it’s me.

Modou, what are you doing here? I need to talk to you, it’s important. That day at the market, it wasn’t a coincidence.  Binetta forced me to do this. Force your finger?  What are you talking about ? Exactly like that. She threatened me.  She knew something about me and she told me I had no choice. She wanted you to believe that Cher was cheating on you.  She organized everything.

This is something you definitely don’t want your family to find out about.  So, you’re going to do exactly what I tell you. Forgive me. She invented everything. Yes. And I agreed to do it.  I’m sorry. I’m walking with this. The weight of what you did, it’s dragging behind me.  Even when I move forward, my heart is heavy.

But I don’t open my mouth. Everyone thinks I’m fine. I wear that too. The streets are the same, but nothing is the same anymore.  Not thinking too loudly in my head.  I was still looking for you in the silences when you had already chosen your side. My daughter, I know it hurts you to receive this invitation, but sometimes you have to face the pain head-on to truly overcome it.

How can I attend this wedding?  Mom ?  It’s like watching my own life being stolen.  So don’t go for them, go for yourself.  To prove to yourself first that you are stronger than this betrayal. Everyone thinks I’m fine. I carry this in silence. The nights are long, the thoughts too clear.

  I  see again the signs that I wanted to ignore. I pretended to be strong but the fatigue eventually showed. I wish you nothing.  I hate you even more.  It’s just a matter of taste. Aïcha, I’m glad you came . You lied to me for 3 years, Binetta.  You invented a girl who didn’t exist. You manipulated your own cousin Maudou to create false evidence.

  And all that time, you were waiting your turn. Aisha, please don’t do that here.  Please don’t cause a scandal.  Listen to me, all of you. Here is the proof of this girl’s betrayal.   Do you remember what I know about you ?  This is something you definitely don’t want your family to find out about.

  So, you’re going to do exactly what I tell you. Is that true?  No.   My dear, I truly love you.  What I did at the beginning was wrong, I know, but what we have built together since then has been built on 3 years of lies.   I can’t, I can’t stay here. I played, I lost.  Now I am alone with my choices.

  What have I done? The doors close one to and no one answers anymore.  I wanted to take everything, I broke everything. Now, I have the ass of my steps in a silence that I created.  Before I control the game but look for the flaws.  I advanced without trembling while the others digested my blows.

  Today, the same streets avoid me, the same legs lower their eyes.  I pushed it too far , it finally broke. I played, I lost.  Now I am alone with my choices.   It’s all over before it’s even begun. And no one answers anymore.  I wanted to take everything, I broke everything,  Aïcha, please wait for me.

Aïcha, please wait.  I know I’ve messed everything up. I know I haven’t lied to anyone.  Just talk to me for a minute.  You had three years to speak to me honestly.  You chose to lie. Now, take responsibility. come back even if you say hello even if you smile like before the time of memory it forgets nothing it waits you can run you can change your voice but what you have done still follows .

  You reap what you sow, or later it comes back strong. We play up the effort, we hide the blows, we move forward as if nothing happened.  But the debts they remain. Even when we change Binetta, please come to my office. Binetta, the atmosphere has become unbearable.  People don’t want to work with you anymore.

  I have no other choice. I’m sorry, Binetta.  We have to let you go.   Hello please , is anyone there? What are you doing here?   Please listen to me. You have dragged this family’s name through the mud. You made your bed, Binetta.  Now, lie down in it.  It’s over.   That’s all I have left. 3 months without rent.  It’s over. It’s over.

  Bineta, you must leave. It comes back even if you pretend, even if you smile like before.  The time of memory, it forgets nothing, it waits. You can run, you can change your voice. But what you did again. You reap what you sow. Everything is closed.  I don’t know where to go anymore.  There’s nobody left.

So this is what remains of me, wounded to the fact that I have nowhere left to go.   That’s when you really understand the price.   What have I done?  winning too fast, fear without making a sound, the sky always gives change until the moment we choose. You can believe you dodged a bullet, that you were smarter than fate, but time takes its time and one day it knocks on your door.

Woman, we leave traces without seeing it. Man , we think we are free, but we are not really. Both of us, everything ends up being known, even what we bury for a long time. Dear Aïcha, it’s been a long time. I wanted to tell you, I’m sorry. I should have trusted you back then .

  I should have believed you rather than someone who claimed to love me. You had no reason to doubt her.  She had always been your best friend . It’s not your fault, Aisha. It’s hers.   Perhaps we could start slowly without rushing. Slowly, that suits me just fine. It comes back even if you pretend, even if you smile like before, in the time of memory, it forgets nothing, it waits.

You can run, you can change your voice, but what you’ve done still follows.  You reap what you sow, sooner or later it comes back strong. We play up the effort, we hide the blows, we move forward as if nothing happened.  But the debts, they remain . Even when your destiny changes, as perspectives evolve, so do people; those you have hurt learn to leave.